Are You Ready For An Open Relationship? Take The Quiz To Find Out

This morning the Wake Up Club discussed open relationship’s and they even answered some of the questions on this quiz. If you think you and your partner are up for the task 1+1=3 take the quiz to find out.

Are You Ready for an Open Relationship? Find Out with This Quiz.
Open relationships may be a growing trend—but is non-monogamy right for you?
This quiz by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson can help you determine
if you and your partner are ready to take the big step.

PART 1: Sixteen Statements to Help You Decide

Answer each statement with one of the five following numbers:

1. always false
2. sometimes false
3. I don’t know
4. sometimes true
5. always true

1. I love my partner and wish our sex life were more adventurous.

2. My partner and I enjoy and care deeply about our sexual lives.

3. I often find myself attracted to people as well as my partner.

4. I could have sex with someone else and still love my spouse.

5. I could become emotionally attached to someone else and still love my spouse.

6. I recognize that my partner can both have outside sexual interests and love me at the same time.

7. I feel titillated when I catch my partner checking out someone else.

8. I feel comfortable telling my partner when I feel attraction to another person.

9. In general, my partner and I are comfortable communicating our thoughts and feelings.

10. We are comfortable talking about sex in general terms.

11. We are comfortable discussing specific fantasies and sexual interests.

12. We enjoy watching erotica together.

13. We are comfortable with social nudity and would consider going to a nude beach or resort.

14. I don’t consider myself a religious person in the traditional sense.

15. Neither one of us is prone to jealousy.

16. I am willing to go against social dictates when my personal growth and happiness are at stake.

Scoring:
61-75: You and your partner have the necessary mindset and relationship skills to explore opening up. Let the adventures begin!

46-60: You may be ready to become more adventurous together, but proceed with caution. Take some time to have a series of conversations about the questions above, as well as the bonus questions below. This will help to clarify what options might work for you.

30-45: You’re probably not ready for a more open approach right now, but you might be in the future. Experiment with talking about sex more frequently and freely. When there is open communication about sexuality, desires, and emotions, there is usually greater relationship satisfaction. You may find that choosing to remain monogamous is right for you. Talking openly can only serve to strengthen your relationship.

Under 30: A designer relationship is not for you at this time. Still, it’s always good to talk openly about your relationship and sexual life. These are skills you can develop with practice and kindness.

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PART 2: Four More Bonus Questions

If you and your partner are seriously considering opening your relationship (and even if you aren’t!), these questions can help you explore what the next steps might look like and the impact they may have.

1. In your mind, which of the following counts as cheating? Can you and your partner discuss some or all of these activities comfortably?

– Fantasizing about someone other than your partner
– Flirting with someone else
– Cybersex
– Kissing
– Touching/heavy petting
– Oral sex
– Intercourse

Relationship ground rules are often assumed and not discussed. It’s crucial for couples who are opening their relationship to reach a firm, clear agreement about what kinds of emotional and sexual activities are acceptable outside the relationship. Of course, these guidelines can be renegotiated down the line, as needed. People in healthy open relationships have ongoing conversations about boundaries and understandings.

2. If you feel that any of the activities listed above constitute cheating, would this still be the case if the activities were done with your prior knowledge?

Open relationships are not “cheating with permission.” Cheating involves clandestine behavior and betrayal. When people are open, honest, and clear, there can be no cheating. In fact, if two people mutually decide that they will have multiple partners, this approach is the antithesis of cheating.

3. Which of the following would you and your partner be willing to do?

– Get a couple’s massage
– Shop at a sex toy store
– Attend a burlesque show
– Venture out to a strip club
– Take a sexuality workshop
– Go to a BDSM or sex club and observe
– Visit a BDSM club and participate in a scene
– Have sex with each other in public; e.g., at a sex-friendly retreat or “on-premise” event
– Make out with other people in each other’s presence but stop short of intercourse
– Participate in a “threesome”

Your answers to this question will help you get a sense of your current comfort level. Over time you may find that you wish to become more adventurous. Take baby steps forward to keep the tone comfortable and fun, and to ascertain whether relating sexually in a more open setting is tantalizing or just too much. Some people find that while taking this step is a fun fantasy, the reality just isn’t what they thought it would be. Others love it and are eager to take a bolder step.

4. Do you have differing sex drives or sexual interests?

For some couples who have differing interests or desires, open relationships can provide outlets that otherwise would be unavailable. A common example is when one partner has an interest in kink and the other does not. Opening the relationship can be a healthy way to address the disparity: The uninterested partner can support the other’s erotic growth without feeling obligated to be sexual in a way that is unappealing. One caveat: If the differences are a source of conflict and are causing problems, you must reduce the tensions before considering an open relationship.

Taken from the book Designer Relationships